I am puke
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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