It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I licked your asshole in confidence.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY