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• (904): View more from Florida

  I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night

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• (626): View more from California

  I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day

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• (818): View more from California

  Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (251): View more from Alabama

  My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.

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