Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I can text with my tongue
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
