Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  i will never coherently bang her

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  (207): i will never coherently bang her http://tfl.nu/z0d8
  Replies (6) Good night (770) Bad night (3115)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  we need ur ladder

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  (612): He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume (612): we need ur ladder http://tfl.nu/n9qh
  Replies (19) Good night (7237) Bad night (968)
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  (523): View more from

  Hey did where's my bong?

  (1-523): View more from

  In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right

  (523): View more from

  Should I bother to ask?

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  (523): Hey did where's my bong? (1-523): In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right (523): Should I bother to ask? http://tfl.nu/hj27
  Replies (8) Good night (3019) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.

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  (810): I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure. http://tfl.nu/tlfm
  Replies (5) Good night (1119) Bad night (1736)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.

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  (715): During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me. http://tfl.nu/euwh
  Replies (30) Good night (4818) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.

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  (816): Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays. http://tfl.nu/c3h2
  Replies (11) Good night (3069) Bad night (663)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.

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  (484): donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them. http://tfl.nu/hk6n
  Replies (0) Good night (1012) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!

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  (415): The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco! http://tfl.nu/lulq
  Replies (5) Good night (1437) Bad night (523)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.

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  (201): Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together. http://tfl.nu/7gqm
  Replies (18) Good night (1284) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Haha hell yea

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.

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  (980): You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday. (336): Haha hell yea (980): Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday. http://tfl.nu/pa5o
  Replies (2) Good night (1014) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.

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  (484): Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you. http://tfl.nu/arry
  Replies (5) Good night (825) Bad night (290)
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  (408): View more from California

  I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.

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  (408): I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment. http://tfl.nu/nl3d
  Replies (2) Good night (542) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.

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  (601): Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes? (1-601): She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her. http://tfl.nu/le6w
  Replies (4) Good night (408) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.

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  (928): it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird. http://tfl.nu/qac5
  Replies (5) Good night (570) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead

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  (602): It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead http://tfl.nu/3tbq
  Replies (0) Good night (447) Bad night (199)

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