Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
