Nicole vs. Life
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
