I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
