Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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