Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
