The maid of honor just puked.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
