Do vagina's smell?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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