May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
