There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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