So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
