u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
