**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
