Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
