remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
