my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
