what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
