Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
