so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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