playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
