Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
