Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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