i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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