Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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