New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
