It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
do herpes really smell.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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