then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
