Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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