If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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