Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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