my mouth tastes like poor choices
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
