oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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