ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
