i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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