I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
