she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
When did angry sex become our thing?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
