just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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