Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
