Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
