did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
