God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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