It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
