You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
