I think scott just propositioned me for sex
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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