My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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