can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
