yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Randomize
