in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
