and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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