she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
