so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
