Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize