I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
