I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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