his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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