My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
