On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
