he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So much rum. So many feels.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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