Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
