you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
