are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize