Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
