How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
