apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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