she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
